Tag: Witchcraft

New Directions, Graduating Therapy!

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I know I said this before, but I’m going in a new direction on this blog.

I have learned a lot and graduated from therapy, and I (maybe paradoxically) no longer feel like I have the expertise to advise anyone in mental health. While I had a lot of KNOWLEDGE about mental health (and especially dissociation), it wasn’t the same as wisdom. Obviously, graduating from therapy doesn’t mean that I am perfect, but I am definitely capable of putting into practice what I have learned– which is mainly that we need to feel our repressed feelings. Mine is generally anger. Even if I struggle, I usually have a much better sense of what exactly I’m upset about, which used to be a big hurdle for me. I would often feel nebulously Upset and be unable to figure out why or what to do about it. Even just figuring out the truth about my emotions and their roots can be powerful, and often neutralizes the emotional problem.

I said before that I wanted to write about masculinity, from the perspective of a trans guy. (Not necessarily the same as writing about being trans.) However, I am not the expert on that either.

So what direction AM I taking?

I’m going to write about whatever I’m thinking about. As someone who used to be a professional writer, I always think that I have to be monetize-able and professional on my blog. Fuck that. That doesn’t mean, however, that I am going to use this as a public diary. There’s nothing wrong with that, of course, but I am more interested in sharing my thoughts than my feelings. I do a lot of reading and research and I’m interested in sharing that.

Lately, most of what I’ve been thinking about is witchcraft and paganism. If that is something you’d like to read about, stick around!

I’m also going to grad school in January 2024 so I’m sure I’ll have lots of thoughts to share then. My major will be Library Science. I’ve been working in libraries for a total of like 7 years, so I feel pretty qualified to move up; I just need the degree.

Currently Reading: Amulet of Samarkand by Jonathan Stroud (a re-read of a favorite!)

Thoughts on My Will (With a Capital W)

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My psychodynamic therapy journey has focused a lot on my Will. Will is defined, by my therapist, as what I want, but in a way that truly benefits me. It’s not just doing whatever I feel like; it’s doing what’s best for me personally and what matches my true self.

Through a process of questioning, we came to the hard-to-hear conclusion that most of the things that I do, I do to please my abusers. Of course, I don’t do everything my parents would want, to the letter. (After all, I am transgender– my parents are definitely weird about that.)

But yes, this includes my getting better journey. I go to therapy and try my damnedest because I know my parents want me to be more functional and “normal.” (But what kind of a goal is that?)

After therapy, I was given the homework of listening to my body for when it says “yes” to something. It doesn’t happen super often, and my “no” is much louder, but it did happen a few times over the course of the week.

One of the rather strange things I discovered is that I want to do witchcraft relating to bees. I love bees, guys!

This whole thing is actually great news to me. Now that I’ve realized I do so many things in service to my parents, I can start figuring out what I truly want. I am excited to discover more about myself!

Review: The Witch’s Path by Thorn Mooney

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This is by far the best book on witchcraft I have ever read.

I am one of those people that will research witchcraft endlessly. This is part of the fun for me, but it’s also not actually practicing the “craft” part of witchcraft.

Here, Thorn Mooney writes a book for ALL witches, no matter their level. In each chapter, she writes about a foundational part of witchcraft. Not in a beginner-textbook way, but in a way that will reignite your spark for that particular aspect. The chapters are sacred space, devotion, ritual/magic, personal practice, and community.

The best part is the practical exercises at the end of each chapter. They come in sets of four, aligned with the four elements. Air is for beginner witches, fire is for witches that need something quick, water is for witches looking to deepen their practice, and earth is for witches that feel like they’ve already tried everything.

I highly recommend doing the exercises— I did some highlighting in my ebook and went back to them after I was finished reading. Some of them are long, 30-day “challenges,” so you may not want to wait to do them before you finish the book.

Note: the author is Wiccan, but she makes sure that the information in her book is applicable to witches of all paths!

5/5.

The No-Cleanse Lifestyle

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Unlike other witches, I don’t DO cleansing.

Sometimes, there are exceptions. If something has “bad energy” surrounding it (like things that I love but were given to me by an ex-partner), I will cleanse it. If my tarot deck is giving me weird repeats, I take note of their message (then make a Facebook post about it), and then I give them a gentle cleanse. Occasionally you need to press the restart button without wiping your hard drive.

To me, my witchcraft tools (and other things, including myself) are like a trusty cast iron pan. They’re seasoned with energy, and I don’t want to strip that away. I don’t want to cleanse my 130-year-old rented house of its spirits. I don’t want to cleanse my crystals of the things they learned in the earth. I especially don’t want to cleanse myself of the energy I exude, the way I fill the air because I’m never quiet.

Some would say I’m a hoarder. I was raised that way. My father, when I was very young, built a barn in his backyard, the residents of which were cars without engines, every dish my mother had inherited, and all the books my brother and I outgrew. I have watched him pick through the trash to rescue a months-old, torn-up magazine that my brother discarded. I think it started during his brush with homelessness, but I also think it’s in my genetics to never get rid of anything. Every marble feels like an ancient artifact, if you look at it the right way. Every notebook is an old friend. Every coin you find is buried treasure. Everyone in my family is like this.

I’m the same way when it comes to memories, too. If someone offered me a miraculous chance to forget about the traumas that gave me PTSD, I wouldn’t take it. Some would say I’m holding grudges, but in reality, I am lovingly holding all the parts of me– even those that bring me pain– just for being a part of me. I need to learn to deal with the memories, work WITH what my energetic body has picked up, and never shy away from the truth of what humans can do.

Some people cleanse all the time, every day. They cleanse their crystals in the light of the full moon, they sage their auras, they purge their homes.

That’s not me.

I will never be pure.

Gentle cleansing ideas:

-put selenite on top of it for a few hours

-wave it over the flame of a light-colored candle

-place it in front of the mirror while you take a shower

-cup it in your hand and whisper to it through your fingers