5 Focuses Activity

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

If you’re anything like me, the world is a very overwhelming place. I totally freeze up when it’s time to make decisions about what to do next– in general– and often end up doing nothing at all. These decisions that I avoid making can be about anything, from what to do next in my career to what video game to play tonight. Therefore, I wanted to share something that has helped me make decisions, and that is choosing five focuses.

Choosing five focuses for what? Anything you want. I have done it for my life in general (see below) and also my witchcraft, so you may want to do both or either. You could choose five focuses for any project you’re working on, a self-directed career, research topics, or anything else you can think of. It’s open-ended on purpose.

Why five? Five, in my opinion, is the perfect number when choosing focuses. Having five allows you to not burn out on any single activity while also narrowing down what you’re working on.

For example, my five life focuses are:

  • school
  • career
  • gender transition
  • this blog
  • witchcraft/spirituality

Once you have the list, you can work backward or forward: you can use the list to generate priorities, or you can check priorities against the list. Anything that’s not related to something on the list is not a priority. That doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means that it’s not as important as stuff that IS on the list.

I hope some of this made sense. If you decide to do this activity, let me know how it goes!

On Cleansing (Cast Iron Pan Theory)

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

I call it Cast Iron Pan Theory. Cast iron pans should not be washed with soap very often, and when they are, they need to be re-seasoned. The seasoning is what makes cast iron so special. I think witchcraft works the same way.

There are some people that do a lot of magical cleansing. They cleanse their spaces, they cleanse their objects, they cleanse themselves– and that is not how I operate. Things (and especially divination tools) have their own spirits and experiences, and I don’t want to get rid of or reset that unless it’s absolutely necessary.

Don’t get me wrong, cleansing has its place in my practice. It’s not like I NEVER cleanse anything– it can be an effective solution to a specific problem. I just think it’s often much too harsh, as well as unnecessary for what I am trying to achieve. It’s not my default.

I also feel this way about warding. Once again, it has its place– if an entity or spirit was being problematic, I would absolutely tell it to stop and put up protections. But I don’t see why it has to be the default. I don’t ward my house, and I don’t create magical protections when I do a working. If someone or something has a message for me, I absolutely want to hear it. That doesn’t mean I don’t have boundaries, but I think it’s wrong to assume that entities automatically wish you ill.

I think a lot of the culture surrounding cleansing and warding in modern witchcraft is a result of the West’s Christian history and its focus on purity. Of course there are other traditions that involve ritual cleansing, and if you want it to be part of your practice, you have my blessing.

But I often ask myself: why do we need our witchcraft items to be cleansed? What if instead they were broken-in, and well-loved, by ourselves or their creators or the earth?

How to Find Blog Inspiration

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

There are a million cozy vlogs out there about fiction writing. Unfortunately, there is much less out there about how to feel inspired about a different kind of writing: your blogging practice. If you’re a blogger, whether professionally or as a hobby, you might occasionally feel drained or bored with your blogging. Here’s a guide on getting inspired and excited!

A note about inspiration itself: every writing book and teacher out there says that if you WAIT to write until inspiration strikes, you’ll never be consistent enough to improve. This is true. However, that doesn’t mean that writing has to be drudgery– inspiration can be a source of FUN, in addition to new ideas! Rather than letting these activities be fuel for procrastination, do them in your free time and NOT when you’re supposed to be writing.

Read your favorite blogs.

Go to your bookmarks or email inbox and click on those blogs you return to again and again. They don’t have to match your blog’s topic. See if they have any new posts and catch up on the blogger’s personal life, industry news, or topic trends. Spend a while just reading for fun, but make sure you have a receptacle ready for any ideas that might spark. Comments are almost always welcome!

Not only is this good research that can help you figure out what direction to take your own blog, but it might remind you of why you’re blogging in the first place– whatever that reason is.

Obviously, do not plagiarize anyone else’s work. I’m not saying you should copy what they wrote. If you decide to write something as a response, please give credit where credit (and backlinks) where it is due!

Write some affirmations and repeat them with gusto.

If you’re feeling “blah” about your writing practice, it might be because of negative beliefs you have about the process and its possible outcomes. To combat this, write down some affirmations that reflect the way you want to feel about your blogging. It works better if you say them out loud with dramatic flair!

Make a YouTube playlist.

Once again, I am not saying to plagiarize. Instead, get inspired by making and watching a YouTube playlist. It can be about your blog’s niche topic or anything else you want to learn about. Learning, in a way that’s fun, gets our brains warmed up before the task of writing begins.

Journal for a week.

Journaling is helpful in a huge variety of ways, depending on how you do it. In the short term, it can get you into a writing flow, but in the long term, it can also be mined for inspiration. Write whatever you want (in a notebook or app) every day for a week and then reread what you wrote. What themes keep popping up? What was on your mind a lot? What opinions do you have? The answers to these questions can all lead to blog posts.

Get out of the house.

This is a classic tip, but it works. Take a break from writing and leave the house. Going for a walk can be just the right solution, but I find it even more effective to go somewhere there are people to interact with, like a coffee shop or a restaurant. You don’t have to have a long conversation with someone to be intellectually stimulated by your surroundings– just order a drink and hang out.

Read a book.

I am not going to say that getting off of screens is the most important part of reading, because many of us read using digital devices! Rather, I am of the opinion that books go in-depth on a topic in a way that other media rarely does. Get a solid nonfiction book (about your blog topic or something else) that interests you and see what doors open in your mind.

Talk to someone else about writing.

Often, talking to others about something that’s on our minds can help our brains make connections that they wouldn’t otherwise. Make a date with an IRL friend who likes to write or participate in online discussions. You can talk about writing woes or writing wins, or both. Read and then gently critique each other’s writing, or plan your next steps together.

Quick Tip on Creating Rituals and Spells

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

If you are stuck when creating a ritual or spell in your witchcraft practice, I recommend coming up with what I will call a “central metaphor,” the action or idea your ritual or spell is trying to evoke and “copy.” Decide what you are trying to achieve and create a metaphor around it, and then use that metaphor to come up with ritual actions. I recommend focusing on a verb that you can make into a ritual action, but common idioms can pack the same punch.

This is a process you might do automatically with common spells like cord-cutting, but I do not often see the idea articulated this way for people interested in designing their own spells and rituals. We do this all the time with correspondences and ingredients, but we witches (or maybe just me?) often stumble on what actions to take for a spell or ritual. (Do I write it on a piece of paper and burn it? Do I put it in a jar?)

An simple example would be burying something in the dirt in accordance with a central metaphor of burying something in the past. If you’re trying to sweeten someone’s feelings toward you, make them a sugary treat.

For an example of a more complicated ritual, I was designing a New Year’s Eve ritual and I decided that my central metaphor was going to be restarting like a computer: powering down and then powering back up again, installing updates and fixing hard drive problems. To do this, I cleaned my bedroom and the bathroom, took a shower, went to bed on New Year’s Eve, and then meditated when I woke up in the morning on New Year’s Day.

If you can’t think of a central metaphor right off the bat, I recommend doing an “I Want” List in a notebook or app. To do this, as I have said in previous posts, start a new page and focus on your ritual or spell, and then begin each sentence with “I want” or “I don’t want” and see what comes up. Refine your results with more “I want/I don’t want” statements until you feel like you’re done.

An Everday Carry List (That’s Actually Practical)

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

I became interested in the Everyday Carry (EDC) world a few years ago, but quickly noticed that many of the suggestions had to do with natural disasters and nuclear fallout events– not people’s real, everyday lives. It’s good to be prepared for emergencies, but let’s be honest that the worst situation most of us are likely to come across is a flat tire.

EDC is particularly important to me because I do not drive, so anything I might need throughout the day has to be carried on my person and not left in a car long-term. Your situation might differ, but it is still good to be intentional about what you bring with you, so you don’t forget important items NOR carry around much more than you need.

The Container

The first thing you need to consider is what you’re going to put your EDC in. (If you don’t have the actual item yet, that’s okay– just consider your needs.) Many people prefer a small bag or fanny pack or even their pockets, but I like to take a slim backpack with lots of small zippers. The reasons for this are a few:

  • Backpacks are gender neutral.
  • I can carry more than I would be able to in a small bag. (Obviously.)
  • My state doesn’t do plastic bags at grocery stores anymore, so if I’m out and about and pick up a few things, I can put them in my backpack and not have to carry them in my arms.
  • If I decide to augment my EDC with temporary supplies like my laptop or a book, I don’t have to switch bags.
  • I can put my water bottle in the side pocket and not have to carry it in my hands.
  • It’s water resistant for the rain.
  • The backpack is slim, with just enough room for my laptop and a few other things, so it has all these advantages without being bulky.

The Single Most Important Item For Your Everyday Carry

The absolute most important thing you can carry with you is a full day’s worth of your prescription medications. There are many mundane AND emergency situations where you might need them. Besides the stuff in your wallet, your prescription medications are the most impossible thing to replace while you’re out and about, so make sure you have backups. Don’t put your health and your ability to function at risk. Keep with them a list of the names of all the medications you are on, dosages, and what they treat, which can be referred to during doctor’s visits or given to EMTs in a crisis. You can get a special pill container or just put them in a plastic baggie.

Other Items to Consider

  • Phone, wallet, keys. The obvious. Your wallet should include your ID, medical card if relevant, and both digital and physical money. Put your phone in a reasonably rugged case and pare down your keys as much as possible. If you struggle to remember which keys are which, you can mark them with color-coded nail polish or special key-distinguishing markers. If you feel unsafe, there is no worse situation to be in than standing outside your car or house fumbling with your keys.
  • Phone charger (cord AND brick) and a portable battery for charging when you’re not near an outlet. Phones might be the most important tool we have nowadays, and if your phone is charged, you can deal with most unexpected situations.
  • Non-prescription medications that you may want to have, like antacids or painkillers.
  • Bus supplies, like single dollar bills or a refillable bus card, route maps, etc. Even if you don’t ordinarily take the bus, your car might break down. If busses are not feasible where you are, keep taxi or Uber/Lyft information handy and money (physical or digital) to pay for them. Carry with you anything you might need to get back to your house if something unexpected does occur.
  • Water bottle and snack. I find these things to be indispensable in my EDC because I am very sensitive to being hungry and my ability to cope quickly fades.
  • Some sort of self-defense item, like pepper spray or a key chain cat face with pointy ears (you put your fingers in the eye holes, like a legal form of brass knuckles). I have never needed the one that I have, but I know that it makes some people feel safer. Make sure it is easily accessible.
  • A notebook and a writing utensil. Your notebook can be full-size, like your bullet journal or planner, or just a small pad. Your writing utensil should be reliable. Maybe have two.
  • TWO sets of earbuds. This has saved my sanity on numerous occasions, and won’t take up too much space in your bag.

A Final Note

Just because you can take it with you, it doesn’t mean you should. Try paring your EDC down to what you might need in REALISTIC emergencies.

How to Ascertain What You Want

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

Today’s post is just a small tip. I call it an “I Want” list. I use it to figure out my true feelings on something.

Start a list in a notebook or app– you can do it like a traditional list or like a paragraph. Title it with whatever your subject is.

Start every line with “I want” or “I don’t want” and then finish the sentence. (I have also done variations like “I like,” etc.)

When you run out of things to write, go back through and get more specific on each sentence as necessary. Write until you run out of things to write!

For example, I made an I Want List for the direction in which to take my blog. My first entry was “I don’t want to make an email newsletter.”

Another example: I made an I Like List and wrote down “I like queer history.” When I went back through, I wrote down an additional entry to expand upon the first: “I like watching queer history videos on YouTube.”

This is a VERY simple exercise that has proven extremely useful to me. I hope it is for you too!

Writer’s Block: A Quick Solution

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

Many writers treat writer’s block as a punishment handed down from on high. There are all sorts of superstitions about how to cure writer’s block, and while they might work for their espousers, they seldom work for anyone else.

There is a reason why it is called writer’s block and not photographer’s block. While all arts are challenging and take skill and persistence (it’s not a contest!), writers often have longer works over a period of time (whether that’s a fiction book or a collection of shorter works) that require them to make more decisions. After all, anything can happen in a story, and the initial premise often doesn’t completely decide where the plot is going. Even if it’s not a story, most written forms do have some sort of narrative, and there are lots of decisions to be made.

Writer’s block is ultimately the refusal to make a decision. There may be many good reasons for that, and I’m not here to judge you, but it is not an inability. It’s not a supernatural malady that has struck you, and it’s definitely curable.

To combat writer’s block, I recommend intentionally making a decision about your work. It could be a big decision (which often resolves the problem entirely!) or it could be a small decision just to get jump-started. I recommend recording this decision in a journal or a notebook (maybe one you have dedicated to the project?) just to get it down and out of your head. If you’re not sure what decision you want to make, you can freewrite or journal or type about it (in a separate document!).

Notice that the title of this post is a “quick” solution, and not an “easy” one. There is no easy path to take when you’re making a decision about your work. It might feel like pulling teeth. Reaching down deep within yourself and making the right decision for you is a skill that you have been developing (purposely or accidentally) throughout your whole life.

Remember, you are going to edit anyway. If your decision turns out to be a mistake, you can reverse it!

Coming up soon is my book on how to write poetry for beginners, based on my experiences in an undergrad Creative Writing program and as a professional writer. Stay tuned!

Review: Burt’s Bees Res-Q Ointment with Cica

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

I never envisioned I would be writing skincare reviews, but here I am!

For years, I have gotten eczema behind my ears and around my eyes. It is worse in the winter, but it’s a problem all year round.

When it first started like ten years ago, I went to the doctor and got a prescription steroid cream, which I generally avoid using. For one thing, you’re not supposed to use it near your eyes, and that’s where I get the eczema. Not only does it burn when I apply it, but it makes the top layer of skin peel off in disgusting sheets, leaving the skin very tender underneath.

I supplemented this with an addiction to Palmer’s cocoa butter, which would at least make things less dry.

I didn’t seek out a new eczema treatment on purpose, but when I got the Res-Q Ointment in a Burt’s Bees sample pack as an early Christmas gift, I decided to try it.

Wow! It’s green and it stinks, but it cures my eczema like nothing else I’ve ever tried. It gets rid of the gunk while also healing the skin underneath. I’ve used it for two days in a row on my problem areas, and I am as good as new!

Outside of the sample pack I got it in, it’s about $10 for a small tin, but a little goes a LONG way. Rub your finger on it for a little bit to warm it up, and then apply the thin layer on your finger to your skin. That’s all you need, you don’t need to scoop any out. I imagine one tin is going to last me months.

I recommend using it at night because it will temporarily make your skin look green. It doesn’t dye it, but there is a green cast to the product, which you then leave on.

I am extremely impressed with the results, which make up for the VERY earthy smell!

12/10!

My Self-Accommodations for ADHD

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

Executive Functioning - Addvantages Learning Center | South ...

I have recently come to terms with my diagnosis of ADHD from several years ago. I tend to think of my executive function issues as a combination of autism (self-diagnosed) and depression (professionally diagnosed), but either way, executive dysfunction is a big problem in my life and something I cope with every day.

Part of the problem is I have never found an ADHD medication that works. Therefore, my life consists of many mini-systems that keep me on track. In this post, I will detail them for you. Feel free to adapt anything you like to your own life.

Points System

I have written about this before, but the Points System that I use is a very forgiving gamification system that I use to get things done. To sum it up, I get a certain number of points for each “productive” task that I do. (“Productive” is a very loose term here, and I give myself points for everything from making a phone call to doing witchcraft. It’s basically anything that keeps me out of bed and either mind- or body-active.) Once I reach my goal number of points, I am allowed to play video games– and consider myself done being “productive” for the day. If I don’t do my points, then I am not allowed to play video games, but I am always allowed to rest and take it easy if I need to.

I started off slow, giving myself video game time after only five points. I have slowly been building my attention span and spoons limit, and I am now up to 15 points a day!

Tiimo

Tiimo is a daily scheduling app I have been in an on-and-off relationship with. It’s designed for neurodivergent people (especially kids) and is a digital visual schedule. You input what you want your day to look like, and Tiimo keeps you on schedule with visual timers and notifications.

I find this helpful in particular to keep track of my work schedule, which is not as consistent as it used to be. With Tiimo, I know exactly when to start getting ready for work on a certain day.

My number one Tiimo tip is BE REALISTIC. Don’t load your schedule with your IDEAL day right off the bat– instead, make an average day. Include breaks and rests. If you want to make changes to your habits, make them slowly and steadily.

Another tip is to visually distinguish between which tasks are optional and which are non-negotiable. I use a red background if I absolutely MUST do something.

Bullet Journaling and Lists

Having a designated, analog place for lists has really helped me. That is my Bullet Journal, which I used to do in a Big Size Happy Planner– I have since switched back to regular a5 bound notebooks.

I use my Bullet Journal for Daily Logs, which include my Points System as well as symptom tracking and random thoughts, and then additional lists (known to Bullet Journalers as Collections) to keep track of other stuff: cleaning lists, word counts, special to-do lists, etc. Another key component is calendars, which I do in a traditional grid format rather than a Bullet Journal-style list. These all work together to keep me organized.

Think-Mode and Do-Mode

Something that I struggle with is switching between “modes,” especially think-mode and do-mode. (I just coined those right now!) When I am cleaning, for example, it is very hard for me to take a step back from do-mode and make a think-mode decision about what needs to get done next. To accommodate for that, I sit and plan out “tiny to-do lists” with every step that needs to get done. These often go in my Bullet Journal. Then I switch to do-mode and actually accomplish the tasks.

Long-form Journaling

Long-form journaling, in a separate notebook from my Bullet Journal, is how I collect myself and also problem-solve. Rather than recording what happens to me, I plan my next steps. Many morning entries begin “What am I going to do today?”

Messaging My Friends

Often when I am out and about or at work, I don’t have my journals and can’t take the time to write. Instead, I quickly text my friends/partners (and they do the same!) when I am working out what needs to be done next. Sometimes they have input, but often they just listen!

Taking a Purposeful Break

Taking a break isn’t always 15 minutes. Luckily, I have a job where I can sit at my desk and collect myself for a few minutes when I am switching tasks. I also have a notebook at work for scribbles.

Three-Point Item Check

This is something I developed as a habit when I was younger– when I’m out of the house, I check my pockets for my phone, wallet, and keys, preventing me from misplacing them and then not remembering where I put them.

These are some of the habits I have developed to corral my ADHD. If you have any input or try any of my ideas, let me know in the comments!

Books I Finished in 2023

joelsherwoodLeave a comment

Happy Solstice! Here are all the books I finished in 2023. I started many more, but I don’t make it a point to finish every book I start.

I didn’t have a high number as my goal for books read this year because I thought I would be starting grad school in August, so I definitely surpassed it. (Now I am starting school in January!)

1. Equal Rites by Terry Pratchett

Terry Pratchett is one of my favorite authors of all time. I read Going Postal and Monstrous Regiment as a kid. I loved the characters in Equal Rites, but didn’t love the ending. It was absolutely still worth reading. They can’t all be hits!

2. So You Want To Be A Wizard by Diane Duane

I cannot say enough good, admiring things about Diane Duane. She was my favorite author growing up and now, in my thirties, I am re-reading her Young Wizards series and making an effort to finish the whole thing– it’s about ten books. Her sense of wonder about the world is unparalleled, and the series doesn’t treat adulthood as a loss of that wonder, which I appreciate.

(Her tumblr presence is also stellar.)

3. Lavender House by Lev AC Rosen

Read my review here.

4. Your Art Will Save Your Life by Beth Pickens

This book was not great. It was marketed as a book about creativity, but it was extremely focused on surviving and coping with the Trump presidency. Even the sections that strayed into other topics did not feel super practical.

5. The Apocalypse of Elena Mendoza by Shaun David Hutchinson

I love YA and I love magical realism so I had to try out some Shaun David Hutchinson. The characters and the magical realism elements were great, but it definitely didn’t need to be as long as it was. In its defense, I did keep reading to the end just to find out what was going to happen. If you don’t mind Hamlet-esque waffling, this could be a great read for you!

6. Transgender History by Susan Stryker

This book was superbly engaging and definitely worth taking notes on.

The main issue that I had with it is that it didn’t focus very much on the AIDS epidemic. I understand that queer authors might not want to make their work hinge on that continuing tragedy, but it almost felt like the subject was skipped.

7. Variations on Your Body by Avery Alder

This very short book might have changed the way I see the world. It bills itself as a “pervasive gaming” experience, which is like playing pretend for people who have a hard time without structure. Highly recommend.

Cons: I don’t really like birds.

8. Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle

Read my review here.

9. Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

Read my review here.

Bonus: TBR!

  • Our Share of Night by Mariana Enriquez.
  • Legendborn by Tracy Deonn
  • The Left-Handed Booksellers of London by Garth Nix.
  • All Out (Collection).
  • How to be Eaten by Maria Adelmann.
  • Fledgling by Octavia Butler.
  • Our Shadows Have Claws (Collection).
  • Transmogrify (Collection).